May I Present…

As we are early in this story, may I present the protagonists of this Odyssey.

Me.  Now, how I see myself versus how friends, family and colleagues see me will definitely vary.  And rightly so, I am a Gemini! I am known for managing many personal and work projects at once.  For example, I oversee the delivery of many projects at work. I can’t talk about them in this forum, but they keep me happily stressed.  At home, I juggle many things supporting the family.  Then there are all my personal projects – of which this is just one.

Hubby – the tails to my heads; yin to my yang.  We have lived the ultimate roller coaster life.  He raised our girls whilst I worked and studied.  Always put his dreams on hold for me.  He has his own dream which has been delayed for more than 30 years.  He has managed his own business for over 25 years and was considering a new career direction.  Does the new direction align with helping with what we need to do? A journey in itself that will complement this story.

Louise is the driving force behind hubby and I drafting a new plan.  And to make it very clear.  This is not her fault, and she never asked for it.  But we are committed to ensure she and her sister are supported now and into the future. Her diagnosis is Autism 2, ADHD, a cognitive (learning) disability and mild depression. She has not been able to maintain employment due to bullying and harassment, or the job expectations were beyond the remit of what we understood she had to do.  For fun, we have turned her job hunting into a 12-month study.  Louise is applying for 2-3 jobs a week. We are being honest and disclosing her disability. We are also making it clear we have funding to help her prepare and learn the job and have someone check in to ensure she is doing well. The spreadsheet tells a very sad story… though organisations have diversity policies, the reality in practice tells a different story. 

The great news about Louise is her Taekwondo journey.  She is an elite athlete on the Australian team.  She trains six days a week.  She is living her dream.  But having a job three half days a week would be perfect for her confidence, independence and post-competition life.

Rose is our other daughter.  You will note that there is little written about my ladybird.  She likes a private life, and I will respect it.  But this journey we are embarking on is for her as well.  She can not be responsible for Louise.  Her responsibility in all this: to be her sister.

So, as I mentioned in my first article, Hubby and I had a plan.  We have just under 20 years until retirement. This year we had Louise reassessed, and the diagnosis gave us more insight than we received 15 years ago.  As we learned the exact nature of Louise’s situation, along with the fact that she hasn't been able to find employment for over 18 months, we had to take stock and consider what would happen if she couldn’t find work. No matter how hard she tries, with AI, robotics and the unknown of human employment in the future, we determined we had to recalibrate.  Suddenly, our future wasn’t just about our retirement; it was about hers and her sister's futures.  Our goal became ensuring they were financially secure and protected.

This is not a political blog, nor is it to be a whinge about our situation, but I will take a moment to address questions and thoughts readers may have. What we need from the NDIS is there for now, but it doesn’t provide the full solution. I will come back to that later; it may need its own story.

Whilst we knew what we wanted for retirement was achievable, the revelation that we had to be sure our daughters’ futures were secure was scary.  We are far from fully financially secure for ourselves at this time – how the hell do we make sure this is possible within 20 years?

In the end – our philosophy – you just do.

Right now, the family has a lot to consider: what now looks like; what the future could look like; what the blue sky is for what we want to do; and the grandest way we could set everyone up for the future. 

We don’t have all the answers. But we know there is no choice. This is what adulting is. There will be failures. There will be things we don’t want to do. There will probably be a few spectacularly bad ideas along the way.

But we have a plan to make a new plan. And that’s where this Odyssey really begins.