Oh Shit! I’m 53 and starting from scratch!

By 53, many people are thinking about how to prepare for retirement.  That gives most people 15 to 20 years to get their affairs in order and determine how they’ll spend their retirement depending on their superannuation and pension. Trepidation, excitement, loathing - everyone at this stage will carry one of these emotions as they work toward their golden years.

My husband and I have grand plans.  Get out of debt, buy a house, save as much as possible and enjoy a modest but comfortable retirement.  We are aiming to retire by 70, enjoy 10-15 years of travelling and enjoying our hobbies, then slow down and enjoy the good life.

We have two beautiful daughters, aged 25 and 23.  Our eldest, Louise (not her name), was diagnosed with Pervasive Development Disorder not otherwise specified and with a learning disability when she was 10.  Back then, developmental paediatricians were few and far between, and after seeing psychologists and psychiatrists, we were recommended to one.  He explained that she was on the spectrum, but it wasn’t exactly Autism, and she would learn to adapt in life.  As she was a girl, she couldn’t be autistic.  We received no support. 

Our mission was to make square pegs fit round holes; we fumbled about and spent whatever money we had to help her.  We home schooled her as the school she attended didn’t know how to help, and she was failing.  By year seven, she achieved average grades on NAPLAN.  Wanting her to return to school, we enrolled her in an independent school, then returned her to the public system and engaged tutors. 

To us, she was our beautiful daughter, and we would do anything to help her and her sister.  We understood she had a disability, but we saw her as Louise – and with support she could do anything. 

In 2016, her diagnosis was ‘upgraded’ by her paediatrician to Autism II – but it wasn’t explained to us what that meant or provided any guidance on how to help her. So, by all accounts, we believed she would make her way in life and be able to hold a job.

Since leaving school, Louise hasn't held one for more than 12 months. 

Since she was 12, Louise has studied Taekwondo.  It started as an activity she wanted to do for home schooling.  She fell in love with the sport and moved her way through the belts.  World Taekwondo recognises people with disabilities, and through their testing methods, she acquired her black belt. 

In 2025, Louise’s Master approached my husband and me about her competing in the discipline of Poomsae.  We agreed, as we felt it would give her direction and purpose.  As a para-athlete, you need your diagnosis recognised.  This opened a can of worms as we hadn’t needed her to be assessed since she was 10.  She needed to be reassessed to confirm her disability.

When the assessment came through, it confirmed her Autism II; she had a cognitive disability – meaning she needed time to learn and understand things and mild depression.  The diagnosis provided the documentation required for her to compete as a para-athlete.  It provided more than that - this diagnosis was explained to us, which explained many of her behaviours. The report noted Louise could technically work, but we could see that employment would be difficult.  Her and our experience to date was not good.

As we have learnt more about Autism II, what her capabilities are, the realisation has come – that we need to plan for a future to ensure she is financially self-sufficient.

She is a brilliant new Australian para-athlete emerging on the World Stage, and we are making sure she stays focused on that.  It is the perfect place to be – where she is successful and has purpose and passion.  But we are not blind to the fact that, in maybe 10 years' time, she may have to retire from competition, and then what does she do?

When she was 10, she quietly said to her dad, “I just want to be like everyone else”.  Today, all she wants is a job working with people.  She needs a job with purpose, with people of all ages.  She is intelligent with an average IQ.  What she needs is an employer with the time and patience to give her the chance to work with them as an equal.

This year’s diagnosis and understanding of her situation has led my husband and me to discover… Shit – we’re in our early 50s, and we have to start planning to have enough money that will be in trust for our daughter when we leave this world.  We are not planning for retirement; we are planning for her future security and ensuring her sister is not her keeper.

This blog is my story. It is a testament to the adage that life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.  I invite you to follow my journey – what has happened to date and what hubby and I have to do now and, in the future, to achieve our goal – of financial independence for ourselves, our daughters and how we support Louise in her taekwondo to represent Australia.